Cutters Don't Cut For Attention

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imreallyNOTokay's avatar
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Sorry it's so long, but I had to put it out there.

Everyone thinks that I cut myself for attention. Well, news flash: I don't. Do you really want to know why? I cut myself because I need a release from all of the pain that has been building up inside for 16 years. I don't know why, but I feel like I can't talk to anyone- not my mom, not my step-dad, not my councelor, not you. I lie to everyone about the simplist of things because I'm afraid of showing the real me. I've got this mask on, and all I am is an actress. I feel like I need to be perfect all of the time, and when I'm not I failed. And when my mom and step-dad scream at me and tell me things, I have no one to talk to about my emotions. I've been taught that crying is a sign of weakness, and I've been raised not to be weak. I can't cry, so I cut. I cut because the mental pain is gone when I do it, maybe only for a few seconds, but those few seconds are amazing. And yes.. it IS an addiction. Once you start, you probably won't stop.

Okay.. I suppose I'll be done now. It just really pisses me off when people say that we cut for attention. No. Get it right.
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tuna--sushi's avatar
There are others ways to vent that pain without hurting yourself. Talking is such a release, if you can work up to it. I wish you all the best.