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Group Info Group Founded 5 Years ago Statistics 5,523 Members
241,531 Pageviews4,217 Watchers

Group Info

This is a group for those who feel rejected, confused, lost, anxious , wronged .. unclean, angry, ashamed, curious , used and for anyone who feels they will NEVER BE OKAY...!

Join if you want your feelings to be known and for your shouts to be heard.

Remember you are never alone.

And since this group is inspired by MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, let's keep the army alive and submit your artworks, literary works and photography to our new gallery called "KILLJOYS DON'T DIE" imreallynotokay.deviantart.com…

Group Avatar (c) LeiYoue
Group
Founded 5 Years ago
Jul 24, 2010

Location
Global

Group Focus
Common Interest

5,523 Members
4,217 Watchers
241,531 Pageviews
Daily Pageviews

Advice & Group Rules

chat.deviantart.com/chat/IAmSo… (link to chat page for advice)

Please report any trolls or abuse to one of the co-founders

Group Rules:

:bulletblue: Please do not spam!

:bulletblue: Please submit your art into the correct folders!

:bulletblue: Keep all of your submissions clean with no nudity- as we do have a lot of younger members.

:bulletred: Any members found leaving hateful comments on journals will be kicked out of the group, bullying will not be tolerated!

Admins

fabulous members,
i ask for your support. let's upgrade this and make it a super group. you can donate points here *fairytaleXuntold your donations are very very much appreciated and i will love you forever!



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  • :iconemaciatedandepitaphs:
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(Or, how to break through the hardy veil of depression, become yourself again, and leave a lasting impression on those you love, those who hate you, and those that don't care)

Welcome to my journal entry! As you can see, it doesn't seem like a very negative journal entry; it doesn't strike you as anything triggering or cynical or anything, right? If you read carefully, it should be a forewarning; but don't fear, this is not going to decay into that.

For myself, I would like to talk to anyone that reads these journal entries; outsiders of the "imreallyNOTokay" group, readers of the journals; lovers and haters abound -- especially those of you that have been really writing entries to the group as of the last few weeks. There's something important I should tell you.

You have *value*. You are a *human being*, just like the rest of us. You can achieve great things, *you* can erect a lifetime of good memories, friends, perhaps even art projects that live on for centuries. But if you do not focus on the very important thing here, you will slip into that hole that many slip into, and have a hard time getting out.

I think it's not unusual that I read many of your stories and relate to nearly all of them in some weird, unexplained way. Whether it's that you can't be accepted by your friends or family, you have a hard time identifying yourself, you can't get the creativity flowing; your lover/ex-lover gives you a hard time and you wonder if it's worth it -- things of this nature always strike me and I constantly tried to figure out a way around it.

At first, when I was about 13 or 14 I would just get avoidant and play video games or talk to people online to get the frustration out a bit. But then things kind of grow a little tougher and dealing with it can be a chore for some. For me, it went from being a chore to a small "event" to literally being a total interference in my life.

Just like myself up to this point, and yourself perhaps; just stop to think before the thoughts rush to your head. Don't think the worst solution - don't expect to do it. If at all, prepare for the worst but be ready for anything because life will always throw very difficult curves at you. It's almost like something is really testing you and who you are, to stand up against winds that vary in speed and pressure.

When stress or depression or anxiety comes at you, the first thing you have to do is take a breath. Don't go to that cigarette, don't go to that video game, don't go to whatever it is you need to do to get the stress out of your mind. Take a breath, sit back, think.

Now here's the hard part. Do this step, as unusual as it may very well be: imagine yourself at your highest potential. Whether that's sitting on a throne of a billion skeletons that's surrounded by a planet filled with lava or you're president of Pepsi Co or you're a better ninja than Ryu Hayabusa, just imagine that you will become that very thing with the things you deal with in the day. Seriously; whatever it is, let it just run in your head that these things you do like work that 9 hour job or raise your child will probably result in that image in your head.

Because let's face it. These are fantasies we aren't likely to really have in life. But just because you can't have it doesn't necessarily mean that it's not attainable; these things -have- to be unattainable because if they weren't, everyone could become Skeletor and completely destroy the planet twice; or everyone could become Goku and pretend to save the planet from all of the universe destroying aliens that apparently exist.

The thing here is that you are just living so very seriously, and while I can truly relate to what it is you may be going through... I'm just a stranger. Am I here to make you feel better? Am I here to make you feel worse? Am I your best friend, your greatest enemy? Those things are all just labels you can apply to me, and I'm okay with it. You have no real reason to trust me. Though hear me out one more time, so the question seems a little more relative...

I've gone through many heartbreaks - some by me, many by countless others and even the same people a couple of times. Falling in love, falling out of love... wondering if my friends are my enemies, wondering if they are really my friends. I don't sit and think that just having them around and alive are ever enough, and then I realize that's all I should *really* want. Constantly I wonder, when will I learn?

I've made art projects, including but not limited to acting, directing, video production, animating, programming, web comic design, writing, drawing and painting. Some of it, especially the making of it, really gives me a feeling of good nostalgia when it's really what I love... creating the art, not even the final product. People tell me it doesn't mean much. I'm not making money off it, so constantly I wonder, when will I learn?

I've had a problem trying to deal with myself. Being my own friend, being my own enemy... getting trapped with this feeling like, "am I man enough?" "Am I not feminine enough?" "Am I truly a man?" "Am I a woman?" It just constantly plagues me like I need to think about it, but I have so many other things to deal with other than what people will see me 'as' or what I feel I 'am.' And yet those things can be so unimportant yet constantly I wonder, when will I learn?

Then, it snaps back at me like a freshly strung bow.

I have learned because I lived through those experiences to tell that yes, I have learned. I know things get rough but somewhere in that unknown ending in these lives we live, we find something. Call it nirvana, call it finding your muse.

But in the end you must realize that you can't live to feel the pain of others unless they experience that pain. You leave yourself feeling so vulnerable but you shouldn't. When people tear into you, it's like they leave you torn in the middle of nowhere, right? Sometimes this happens and for the worst reasons, but it is not because of who you are and it is not because you are weak -- it is because you are strong enough that someone or something got to you and it managed to get through to you.

So instead, be kind, be generous, and be respectful. Be powerful, and don't let anyone get to you. Remember, if you're truly worth it, people will dedicate their life to you. But it's hard to get this dedication if you can't dedicate yourself to... well, yourself.

Constantly I wonder, when will I learn? We won't really learn until we take those hard routes in life and figure out just how much we can take before we become stronger. That's why you must always fight through your pain, and never give up.

- James
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:iconconstantly-confused:
Dogs are not enough. People never felt more lost, more lonely in this man-made world. They need company, a stronger, bigger company than ever. Something that can really stand up to it all. Dogs aren’t enough, what we need is elephants. (Romain Gary)

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:iconcatalley:
CatAlley Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've been wronged in my life recently and I noticed this group. Heh I guess I knew there would be others like me. I was wronged by being dumped without a word and the guy erased me from his life like I was nothing. We even planned to move in together too. I knew he was the one for me but I wasn't the one for him it seems.
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:iconskylinestudio4:
SkylineStudio4 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
After stumbling into this group the first thing I thought was.. I wonder if I will finally meet a lonely girl here that feels unnoticed. Heh. Strange group . One of a kind. Maybe my problem will resolve here...hmmm
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:iconmollyteter:
mollyteter Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014   Digital Artist
hi, just found this group. thinking of offing myself, any tips?
dont say dont do it.
you dont know me so you cant say that my life is worth living
apologies if this is rude or anything....
sorry
Reply
:iconflandre495:
flandre495 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Student General Artist
...

*thrusts a tall, bearded old Victorian man into your arms*

This is Abraham Lincoln. I think he can help you, for he has helped me a lot. Please take good care of him.
Reply
:iconpreston-kei:
Preston-Kei Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know you or your life and this will probably sound ignorant, but there's a chance (no matter how slight) to turn things around in your life. While it may not be worth living now you could make it so it is, possibly?
Is that he kind of advice you were looking for or are you looking for suicide methods?
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:iconethkra:
Ethkra Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel conflicted about joining this group. On the one hand I feel depressed at times and I create art to let myself feel it without doing anything to my own body. On the other hand I don't think it's a good idea to see people feeling down like myself. Aaaargh, why can't I just be good enough?
Ha. Ha. It's not good enough.
Reply
:iconsolarlunix651:
SolarLunix651 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I find it helpful to be around here because I feel good when I can offer some help.
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